Black Flower With Red Petals

So I spent an extra day in Sai Kung. You see, I decided that I wanted to meditate in a trendy bar in Sai Kung. Don't get me wrong, but I like to meditate in noisy crowded places in order to test my determination and will power.

And there I was, when a bunch of thirty-plus-year-old women entered the bar. Now I was sitting in a corner and they came straight to me. "Mr. Fortune Teller," they said, "can you please help us?"

I mean, you know I am not a fortuneteller, but just a devoted Buddhist monk. But I couldn't convince them, and they thought I knew something they didn't.

So the women asked me a crucial question that was on their minds. "Help us," they said, "we want to get married, but no one wants to marry us."

I tried to avoid such sensitive topics. But when they insisted, I took one good look and realized their problem. You see, all of them were dressed up in ugly jeans pants. You know, the ones where their legs look like chopsticks, and their behind looks like two small pieces of dumplings.

I don't know any man who would be attracted to such ugly pair of legs. But how could I tell them without hurting their feelings? And so, I asked them to sit down, and then I startled them by saying, "lose your pants."

"Huh?" they said.

And I said, "Not now, I mean. But instead of dressing up in such ugly pants, start wearing mini or micro skirts. And then see the difference."

As soon as I said that, they started giving me suspicious looks. But I am an honest monk. I have nothing to fear, and my mind is clear, and all that. And so, I went one-step ahead and told them, "While you are at it, lose your underwear. And flash your black flower with red petals in public, all over Hong Kong. Once you do that, men will come running to you. Like bees to the flower, and all that."

And so, they started giving it a thought. But they didn't understand what I meant by 'black flower with red petals'. So I pulled my chair a bit closer and pointed between their legs.

And then they got it! And even though embarrassed, they smiled. I looked at their happy faces, and in my heart, I knew that they would soon find great husbands, and boyfriends, and all that. All of them said "thank you," and they wanted to hug me, and kiss me, and buy me some drinks, and stuff. But I told them that I am a devout monk, and cannot allow that.

Well, they were happy when they left the bar. And I was happy that I sent some lost souls on the right track. After all, every day is a charity day in Wan Ker's world.

Peace.