Friday, November 10, 2006

Gone Hunting!

An evening with weird friend Ron, the lady-killer drags me to a Wan Chai bar.

"Why go to bars when you can pick women off the streets," I ask him.

"I can pick anyone I want," he says, assurance flooding out of his eyes, "but we are here so that you, my dear friend Wanker, can have some fun."

After downing couple of drinks, I find myself surrounded by Southeast Asian and Russian women who are very interested in me. I have known all along that women find me exceptionally charming. But this takes the biscuit.

They rub their scantily clothed behinds on my crotch as we dance. And of course, I am excited. We dance, our legs trembling against each other as we rub our private parts. Finally, following twenty-minutes of contemplation, I select a woman of Russian origin. She looks exceptionally sexy and I am convinced that if anyone deserves to enjoy a monk's virginity, she is the one.

"I would like to sleep with you," I whisper in her ear.

"Two thousand and five hundred dollars, darling," she whispers back in mine.

I am shocked. Who would have thought that Wan Chai bars were full of hookers!

"Is this your idea of me having fun?" I complain to Ron.

"Um," the maestro looks at me and thinks for a while. "With your looks, if you don't want to pay for it, hang around for a couple of hours and I am sure that the early morning newspaper lady outside 7-Eleven will bonk you for free."

With excitement boiling inside my robe, I have no choice. I will look forward to, and wait for that one.


Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Revirginization [Not a contemporary English word]!

After about a month of arduous meditation, the Great Buddha has finally blessed me with special powers - I can revirginize a woman.

You see, 'revirginize' or 'revirginization' isn't a word recognized by (or accepted by) the Standard English dictionaries. But that's because revirginization wasn't possible before I received the special powers yesterday.

In case you are wondering, it's all really very simple. Women, who aren't virgins anymore, sleep naked on a bed. And I, alongside my special powers, bonk them with my blessed phallus. The result is immediate and obvious. The healing and *sealing* starts almost immediately, or rather, instantly. And shortly thereafter, they are virgins again. Therefore, the process is called "revirginization."

Starting tonight, I have started healing and sealing women in Wan Chai girly bars. They are the ones who need this treatment the most. And so far, the results have been more than satisfactory. So if you are a desperate woman who badly needs revirginization, all you have to do is get in *touch* with me.

And yes, I have been drinking. After all, drinks are supposed to be vegetarian. So no problems there!